if i could

i noe my strength n weakness. but did i make use of it. i didnt. and in the end. i keep crying and crying over and over again. acting like ive work hard for it. damn i work hard for it. but only in the end of time. should i regret what i'm doing. i know how to improve but i didnt take advantage. i take it easily. and look what hv i got in return. i should be more aware. dumbshit me. im an asshole fucktard.